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Instructor Mommy????!!!!

Author Topic: Instructor Mommy????!!!!  (Read 2157 times)

Offline Rosy

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Instructor Mommy????!!!!
« on: May 28, 2004, 01:38:44 AM »
My instructor always jokes and says I am a total "Instructor Mommy"    And I have to admit I have little tiny kids I teach and they become very attached to me and I to them......I have this one teen that has had a really hard life...Believe it or not, dad left mom for a guy, (he found out after three kids and 12 years he was gay... :-\)  mom found out she has terminal cancer and the girl has done a great job coping and has worked hard for her family and eventually escaped into karate.  I trained her for about two and a half years.  Well I haven't seen her in a couple months...... I ran into her the other day and she is now 5 months pregnant with twins.  She's 15 years old. I smiled and hugged her and asked how mom was taking it, she said she was happy so then I hugged her again we talked a little more.  I didn't show it but  I was heart broken, my daughter will be 14 and it hit close to home.  I have watched kids come and go, some I adore others I'm relieved they left.  But this one, she used to talk to me alot and I would be there for her.  I feel like I dropped the ball by not calling when she didn't show up to class.  I wondered where she was and if she was okay, but I didn't pick up the phone.  I was preparing for my black belt test, then moving into a new house and studying, my life was so hectic.  I have stopped being so much a motherly figure as more of an instructor, but sometimes I wonder where is the line?  And how do you know your crossing it?  Any one else get too involved in student's lives and then feel like "oh oh" how do I get out of this one?

And what do you say to parents who bring "little Johnny" to you for discipline when really they should be disciplining the kid at home.  I never know what to say when someone marches a kid up to me and says...."Tell Instructor Rosy what you did at school yesterday."  And then expect me to punish him or give them words of wisdom.(half the time I just want to laugh)....Geez I'm finding my way as a parent myself, how can I parent someone elses kids?

Am I a bleeding heart?  
« Last Edit: May 28, 2004, 01:44:20 AM by Rosy »
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Offline Chief Instructor

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Re:Instructor Mommy????!!!!
« Reply #1 on: May 28, 2004, 08:48:11 AM »
And what do you say to parents who bring "little Johnny" to you for discipline when really they should be disciplining the kid at home.  I never know what to say when someone marches a kid up to me and says...."Tell Instructor Rosy what you did at school yesterday."  And then expect me to punish him or give them words of wisdom.(half the time I just want to laugh)....Geez I'm finding my way as a parent myself, how can I parent someone elses kids?

Am I a bleeding heart?  

Rosy,

Great posts! As for being a parent, I hate to say this but sometimes the parent doesn't want to look like the bad guy. That's why I often tell my oldest son to ask mom even though I know the answer is no.

Another important issue is when there's a single parent. Parenting is hard enough but I imagine single parents have it a thousand times tougher (my heart goes out to them). Sometimes they need a little extra help. I'm sure a lot of children are in the martial arts because the single parent feels the need for another authority (father) figure in their lives.

Chief
Sigung Andrew Evans, KSDI #888
Hokkien Martial Arts, Topeka, KS
http://www.TopekaKarate.com